Assorted Biscuits

Glazed Earthenware

As a kid I always developed special ways of eating things. With tiny teddies I'd bite off the legs, then the arms, then the body and lastly the ears. Then I'd slowly naw around the head to round it into a perfect circle and pretend it was a coin. Then I'd look at the toy section of the kmart catalogue and circle what I'd spend my chocolate money on.

With hundreds and thousands I would pick off each sprinkle and lick the pink icing off.

With anything cream centred I'd expertly twist it to reveal the creamy inside and then scrap it off with my front teeth.

With scotch fingers I would break it in half, dunk it a glass of milk just long enough for it to soak up some milk and suck out the milk as the biscuit crumbled in my mouth. I don't drink cow boob juice anymore, the thought of it makes my bumhole quiver. But I do remember all the little biscuit rituals I had. Maybe because when you grow up not having much you try and savoir what you do have and make it last. Now I just open my mouth and inhale food. Fat rat for life.